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This isn’t so much a “Dear Cougar” as it is Cougar completely disagreeing with the men’s fashion bible otherwise known as GQ, and wanting to educate you on why they are wrong. I’m going to have to come up with a new name for this section…
Gentlemen’s Quarterly October 2012 boldly proclaim’s “THE RETURN OF THE TIGHTY-WHITIES!” I added the exclamation point, because trust me, I can tell they are excited about this over there at the Condé Nast HQ.
The issues proclaims:
Designers have de-briefed the brief.
The flattering low-rise cut is the best of both worlds: it won’t peek out from under your waistband or put your junk in a choke hold.
You won’t be the only one to appreciate how soft these new briefs are to the touch.
To writer Andrew Richdale and GQ I say, wrong! Wrong you are on all accounts!
There is a REASON we all (well, most of us) switched out of tighty-whities in middle school! Tighty-whities were like training pants for male adolescence. That bridge some of us needed post-diaper, from the cool white swaddle that covered our behinds, to having to actually relieve ourselves somewhere other than at-will in our pants.
I’m sorry I’m not sorry for disagreeing with this plug, but we are big boys now GQ. No woman that I know (please correct me if I’m wrong) is going to be hot in the pants when I display the whiteness and tightness down below. I mean, I’m awesome and somewhat in shape, but I’m not this guy (see below) and very few dudes out there are. Honestly, Exhibit A is ripped, but even he’s not pulling them off either.
GQ, stop trying to send your readers back to grammar school. Like Barack says, Move it Forward!